All The Little Drabbles
by TheInternetGoblin
Summary: Just a load of drabbles, including any character, pairing or scenario you want (although they will have to be from series 8) 'I suck at summarys' cliche but true, please just read and tell me what you think of it. First chapter; Kevasty
1. Kevasty

******Heyya Internet! Soo...this is the first thing I've ever published so PLEASE BE NICE (be nice anyway, just feel free to be extra forgiving for this) and I wrote it on a RedBull-fuelled, driven by cute fluffy feels kevasty whim at 3 in the morning instead of doing my five hundred word history essay. **

**I'm a bad, bad person. So anyway, it's a boring drabble and hopefully these little drabbles will get better and if you want any other couples or any otfor scenarios to be introduced, feel free to say.**

**CIAO XOXO lurve ya all 33 (that me trying to manipulate you into writing a nice review) **

**Kevin and Dynasty lay draped over each other on Kevin's bed, her curly strands mixing with his dark hair.**

Dynasty sighed and moaned, dropping her head onto the duvet as Kevin chuckled, running a finger up her neck as she shivered.

"I can't be bothered, we've been on this for two hours."

"School's a bitch, eh?"

"Not for you." She mumbled, rolling on her back and shoving her textbook off the bed.

Kevin propped himself up on one elbow, ignoring her comment,"We have about half an hour to finish. It's not that long."

"I can think of something I'd rather be doing..." Dynasty trailed off, taking advantage of the position Kevin was in and pulled him down, capturing his lips and rolling over so he was underneath her; and couldn't escape.

Kevin kissed her back for a moment, cupping her face in his hands, before rolling back over, keeping her wrists prisoner with one of his hands and hovering over her as he sighed and dropped his forehead onto hers.

"You're killing me, y'know that?"

Dynasty grinned,"Good," and leant upwards for another kiss but Kevin groaned, giving her a quick peck on the lips and peeling himself away,"I hate you sometimes."

"Clearly." Dynasty grumped, sitting up against the headboard and checking her phone.

"I've got to be getting back soon or Imogen's gonna freak. She's telling her mother tonight about the marriage."

Kevin winced,"Wouldn't want to be in her shoes."

"I guess that's one thing Mum has in her favour; I could marry a dustbin and she wouldn't care."

Kevin grinned, giving her a teasing poke in the ribs,"Charming."

Dynasty laughed, before sobering up and speaking tentatively,"What about your mum? You never speak about her or anything."

Kevin froze, his face blanking and Dynasty cursed herself inwardly, examining her nails in embarrassment and muttered,"Sorry."

"Nah it's fine." Kevin forced a grin, and Dynasty shook her head stubbornly,"I shouldn't have mentioned it."

"I can hardly blame you,"Kevin shrugged, before moving closer, resting their foreheads together,"Now, what were you saying before?"

Dynasty smiled, and gave him a shove,"You are so hypocritical."

"So?" Kevin shrugged again, unabashed, and kissed her deeply, before pulling away and speaking wheedling,"But if you'd rather do homework..."

"Shut up." Dynasty leant forward and kissed him back, as Kevin grinned and wound an arm around her waist, pulling her closer.

**If you're still here and not retching from the disgusting fluff (I'm sorry, I love writing fluff) then congratulations! Now you've gone through this much, would a tiny little review hurt? Please?**

**Thanks for reading anyhow**

**~Zoe~TheInternetGoblin~**


	2. Kevasty on pets

**Four reviews. Four actual real reviews.**  
**I love you guys. **  
**THANKS TO:**  
**Guest Jakefan Virgo girl 14 and AllyKat8. I love you all! **  
**Waterloo road tonight! Yay! Can't wait! This one is another kevasty because you all seemed to like the other one, and the next one is Christine/Michael (they really need a shipping name. Chichael? Michstine?) **  
**ANNYYWAY thanks for reading! CIAO XOXO lurve ya**

Kevin pushed Dynasty against a wall, kissing her hungrily as she slid a hand around his neck, pulling him closer before releasing him with a sigh, letting Kevin unlock the door as he chuckled under his breath.  
Dynasty headed straight for the couch, kicking her shoes off as she started flicking through the channels. Pulling out two mugs, Kevin called over his shoulder,"White or black?" as he began to automatically spoon the grainy segments into the mugs, switching the kettle on.  
"White, one sugar."  
"Coming right up."  
Dynasty smiled, snuggling further into the sofa before suddenly thinking: "This must be what it's like to be married."  
The thought stopped her short. Sure, she'd thought plenty about marriage before; after all, she had been engaged (albeit for only about seven hours). But she had always dismissed the rosy-tinted, lovey-dovey idea of marriage, with the two kids and suburban house and cooking tea for your husband when he returns from work before all settling down to watch Toy Story or something; that just didn't exist. It was an illusion, exactly like someone having a Prince Charming, a soulmate.  
Now she was beginning to seriously question both her beliefs.  
_"Come on Dynasty! You haven't exactly been going out for long. It should be sex and parties and sex and showing off and sex at this point. Not marriage."_  
But even just the _idea_; Kevin wearing a tuxedo and picking out wedding dresses with Imogen and organising the ceremony and saying "_I do_"...It had already become firmly lodged in her mind.  
"Love, you're tea's ready."  
"Bring it over then."  
She heard him chuckle and then slide next to her, pressing the hot mug into her hands and wrapping another arm around her shoulders before nodding towards the TV.  
"You gonna make up you're mind anytime soon?"  
Giving him an indignant shove, she replied with,"Give us a moment!" and haphazardly clicked on the first program she saw; an RSPCA documentary.  
_Married couples always had pets_.  
"We should get a pet." Dynasty blurted out, before biting her lip.  
Kevin gave her a look,"Where did this come from?"  
"Er..." She flushed, sorting through various responses until she just decided to play it cool, "71% of most successful couples owned a pet together at some point. It helps to strengthen the bond."  
_He'd never check it anyway. _  
He gave her another scathing look,"Right."  
Rolling her eyes, she huffed and turned towards the screen when he sighed and said,"It would have to be a dog though."  
Dynasty smiled inside, but shook her head decisively,"No way. A cat or nothing."  
"Dogs are way better than cats."  
"You asking to get dumped here?! Cats are the best. End of."  
"Cats are boring. At least dogs show you a little bit of affection."  
"Dogs are totally brain-dead. At least cats are intelligent."  
"At least dogs _like_ people."  
"Kevin. We live in a flat. We can hardly have a dog in a flat."  
He considered it for a moment, frowning a bit before Dynasty leant her head against Kevin's, snaking her hand seductively around his neck and whispering,"Please?"  
Kevin deliberated, biting his lip before he groaned, throwing his hands up in the air,"Fine! We'll start looking for a cat. Happy?"  
"Very." Dynasty smirked, wrapping her hands against her mug and leaning against him again, smiling softly as his arm automatically slid around her waist.  
"But I still say dogs are better."  
"You're not gonna let this go, are you?"

**Next up; Christine/Michael! What sort of cat should Kevin and Dynasty get? Any preferred names? And remember, reviews are welcome (as always). And don't forget, I don't just write romance; anything from bromance with Harley and Phoenix to Jade's angst about her baby ANYTHING you desire, I will write it for you! (I don't mind romance though, it's nicer to write!) **

**See you! **

**~Zoe~TheInternetGoblin~**


	3. Michstine

**You guys are amazing. Honestly if I could I'd hug you all. **

**THANKS TO;**

**AllyKat8 Lena annabethsapphireGaleniss 5ever HeyItsKerry beautiful-apple HoldYourHeartIntoThisDarkness EllaElliotPotter and Waterloo road 16 YOU'RE ALL SO NICE AND LOVELY AND ENCOURAGING AND BEAUTIFUL :') and Kevin and Dynasty now have a cat thanks to NeveyG (a Russian blue called Kimber) I looked them up and they are actually gorgeous**

**NEXT ONE: a oneshot at the Barry household, including Carol, Kacey, Dynasty and Barry. I've also got plans to do a Michael and Connor bonding fic and obviously another Kevasty at some point. Thanks guys for all you're beautiful reviews and follows, you make me smile!**

**CIAO XOXO lurve ya **

Christine loved Michael. At least, she thought she loved him. She thought what they had was love.

And it was.  
_Sometimes_.  
The time when he waded into the sea to catch her lesson plans; trousers rolled up, tripping over in the sloshing water, crinkling eyes and sparkling laughs. It was teenage love, rose-tinted and crazy, mad, fast, wild infautation. Like an unstoppable rollercoaster, enthralling and irresponsible and insane. They shouldn't be doing this, feeling this; it was illogical, ludicrous. Nonsense. Yet maybe the senselessness was the most rambunctious fun of all.  
And the time when he took her out to dinner; sophisticated wine and snobby waiters, wearing her best evening dress and the pearls she found languishing in the back of her rarely remembered jewellery box, figdeting with the heavy material and trying to use good posture. He was gentlemanly and courteous and mild, yet she saw the ravishing twinkle in his eye, the hidden smirk, the wandering fingers. It made her feel wanted, desirable, _beautiful_. It felt like the first month after marriage; pretending to be mature and to be respectable and to be formal when they both just wanted to rip the others clothes off and ravage them all night. It was a delicious shot of dirtiness, lightening up the dull conundrum of her life and making her crave more.  
The other time was when they moved in; he looked her in the eye and said,"See you at home." _Home_. Home felt like such a wonderful, calm, reliable concept. Somewhere to go after a hard days work, to relax and unravel, greeted by hot mugs of tea and a stir-fry, gentle words and simple actions. A routine. Something she can depend on. With someone she can trust. It felt like they were already an old married couple, just trundling out every day with each other, secure in the knowledge that they would always be together. The beautiful simplicity, the ordinariness, the normality was like a soft, warm duvet, something to sink into, close your eyes and forget all your worries. Soothing, reassuring, heartwarming. A safe haven.

_Or maybe she had just been deaf the entire time._

Michael loved Christine. At least, he thought he loved her. He thought what they had was love.  
And it was.  
_Sometime_.  
Like the time when he first kissed her. Hormones rocketing through his veins like a clumsy teenager, tetosterone driving him forward like a drug, his sense of victory when she kissed him back. It was all he could think about, her lips, her scent, her taste. It was intoxicating, heady, exhilirating, clouding his brain; everything he thought about led back to _her_. It was so different to anything he had felt in a long, long time; thrilling and unpredictable and addictive. Like the jolt of caffine stimulating his senses, bringing the world into sudden perfect clarity. He was hooked.  
And then when she cried on his shoulder after confessing. His arm circled her shoulders automatically, feeling them heave and shudder, hearing her anguish, her sobs, the wetness spreading across his suit and through his shirt. She trusted him. This woman, this grown, collected, mature woman held so much faith in him that not only did she reveal her greatest, most painful secret, she felt comfortable sobbing onto him as well; he was her solace. He was important to her. He was helpful, valuable, appreciated; she needed him here. And suddenly, Michael felt this huge sense of responsibility and with that, an overwhelming duty of _protecting_ this vulnerable, feminine side of Christine. He was her refuge, her sanctuary from the big, bad world. Not only that, but this accomplished, intelligent, independent woman relied on him so much, she depended on him to defend her, to shelter her and shield her. She _loved_ him enough to let him. And being trusted was always a wonderful feeling.  
Then there was the time when he woke up in her bed, with a sleeping Christine wrapped securely in his arms. It had hardly been a night of ardent, zealous passion, more like sweet, tender, loving love-making. The sun was smiling through the curtains, showering the room in soft, hazy light. Everything just seemed so deliciously uncomplicated; he was here in bed with a woman he loved. No worries. No difficulties. No blurred lines, no frustration. Just lucid, peaceful tranquility. He could smell the saccharine scent of the flowers on the windowsill, light, clean and fresh, feel the sun's soft rays stroke his cheek, silvery and melodic. It was a perfectly pleasing, wonderfully domestic morning and Michael, for once in his life, felt lucky he could have this to wake up to every morning.

_Or maybe he has just been blind the whole time._

**Well. I guess that was sorta ominous. Next one: Meet the Barrys! ALSO did anyone of you see the WR ep last night? Loved it so much, though Kevin looks a little bit like a really angry gnome for most of it :') also, when Barry's being nice, i actually think he's one of the best characters. I really like him (and his agressive combover. I miss the times when streetgangs would assert their dominance through aggressive hair-combing.) **

**See you!**

**~Zoe~TheInternetGoblin~**


	4. Meet the Barry's!

**I'm on a roll tonight; and its all your gorgeous reviews keeping me inspired! **

**THANKS TO;**

**HeyItsKerry Lena Guest dustdancingintheflickerlight NeveyG **

**You are all beautiful, wonderful people and I hope you have an amazing life.**

**ON THE NEXT NOTE; I'm doing a Connor/Michael bonding scene next and then some Imogen/Connor, probably a cute, light little scene and some Connor/Dynasty friendship. I'm probably doing some more Michstine in the future as well as the arrival of Kimber the cat! So my writing diary is gonna be pretty much chockablock for the next few days; which is always a good thing! :D **

**CIAO XOXO lurve ya**

"Dogs _are_ better than cats. In his defence." Kacey swung her legs, sprawled across the graffitied brick wall, bouncing her football absently up and down.  
Dynasty, leaning against the wall warily, gave Kacey a shove as her trainer brushed against her shoulder,"Pack it in Kace, you're getting mud on my top."  
Kacey rolled her eyes as Dynasty examined her nails, giving a self-satisfactory nod at their pristine condition, going back to the other subject,"Don't matter, it's a cat or nothing."  
"Romantic." Barry smirked as he passed the girls, nudging Dynasty,"Aren't you giving little Kev a say in this?"  
"You shut it as well Barry. You hardly have a girlfriend either."  
Barry snorted, running his hand through his hair pointedly and giving a wicked grin,"Don't need one. Why have one girl when I can have hundreds lining up at my door?"  
"In you're dreams." Kacey snapped, but the sardonic smile took the edge off her words.  
"Anyway, moving on from the subject of Dyn's _glorious_ romance-"He gave her a taunting look as she raised her eyebrows, unimpressed,"Carol's said that tea'll be ready in a few. Went down to the chippie." Barry held up a steaming hot bag for clarification, gesturing for them to follow him.  
"Thank god, I'm _starving_." Kacey jumped off the wall, wincing slightly as she crashed down less-than-gracefully onto the gritty pavement but breathing no word of complaint.  
"So Barry..."Dynasty began as she started clicking after the twosome, slightly unbalanced in her heels,"What _is_ you're opinion on Kevin? I know you weren't _that_ keen on him before."  
"I'm not keen on Chalk _now_, let alone before." He gave her a warning look,"Don't start simpering on to me about all that lovey-dovey mushy mess. I'm not interested."  
"But say...if we got married..." Dynasty began again, winking at Kacey who buried her face in the sleeve of her jacket, turning a laugh into a cough at Barry's aghast expression.  
"He's knocked you up, hasn't he? God Dynasty, for christs sake! You ever heard of birth control? Carol's gonna go _off_ it!"  
Kacey bit her lip to stifle her laughter, choking out,"Got any names?"  
Barry looked appalled,"Don't bloody encourage her Kace!"  
"Kayleigh for a girl, Jordan for a boy." Dynasty replied confidently, before pulling on Barry's sleeve plaintively,"Hurry up, they've have gone cold by the time we get home at this rate."  
"Dynasty, you're preggers!"  
"Uncle Barry. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" She spoke teasingly and Barry's eyes widened, first in thank-god-she's- not-pregnant, then in utter disbelief.  
"You sneaky little cow," He laughed, shaking his head and giving her a push,"Don't know why I put up with you sometimes."  
"Aw, hon, you love us really." Dynasty winked, while Barry turned to Kacey and grabbed her in a headlock, ruffling her tattered hair,"And you, you little nightmare. Leading me on, eh? Think I'm gonna let you get away with that?"  
They began playfully wrestling, Kacey squealing and Barry grinning as Dynasty wryly took the greasy bag of chips from his careless fingers.  
"If you two don't pack in it, I'm chucking these in the gutter."  
Instantly, they untangled themselves, Barry glaring and snatching the bag while Kacey blew upward on her hair, scuffing along behind Barry,"Yes _mum_."  
They walked in comfortable silence for a while before Kacey piped up again,"Dynasty?"  
"Yeah?"  
"If you was pregnant...you wouldn't _actually_ call him Jordan, would you?"  
"Kacey!"

**I have this really bad feeling that it was really bad. Was it horrible? Yeah it probably was. Oh well! Put it down to the insane lack of sleep I've had, I swear I would actually have died by now if coffee didn't exist :S Brownie promise the next one will be better! Anyway got to go and stay up all night drinking copious amounts of caffeine and having youtube marathons at three in the morning...yeah. I should probably sleep instead but #YOLO *runs and hides* (please don't kill me!) **

**~Zoe~TheInternetGoblin**


	5. SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRRYSORR YSORRY

**Hey guys**

**Oh my god you must hate me.**

**IM SO SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY**

**I know its like the worst timing ever and I pinky promise that I will get a new chappie up soon, I PROMISE but at the weekend we got a call from one of my relatives and long story short she was really ill so I kinda spent the whole weekend down with her and got to miss the first few days of school (We're on exam week. Exams+Zoe=GrumpiestLittleBitchyGoblinAlive. I HATE exams) so yeah I kinda haven't really found the heart (That sounds so cheesy) to write. So yeah, sorry for depressing you and I'm SUPER MEGA TITANIC-SIZELY sorry if you thought this was a new chapter.**

**I'm saying sorry way too much.**

**I ÜBER PROMISE I will get a new chapter up soon or I give you full permission to curse me with the bubonic plague or a herd of elephants living in my bedroom or something. A sexual encounter with Slenderman (Oh my god that would be the most freaking terrifying EVER) **

**So yeah :) BTW I actually just adore everyone of you who reviewed, whenever one pinged into my mail I swear the biggest grin ever would just light up my face so THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU You're names will be at the front of the new chapter a per usual :)**

**if you're still reading; thanks for putting up with my insufferable rambling. I don't usually sound like a half-demented asylum-patient or anything. Promise ;) **

**love you :) **


	6. The new chapter TA DA!

**For everyone who reviewed; I cannot say how much I love you guys. I'm so so so sorry this is so late, but all this family stuff has been happening and everything and we've had to organise a funeral and everything so it's not been going well BUT it's all over now so hopefully I can move on with my life and look forward to another week of soul-crushing exams. **

**THANKS TO; Lena, Waterloo road 16, annabethsapphireGaleniss 5ever, Heyitskerry, AllyKat8, NeveyG, guest, Charlotte and Stacey. YOU GUYS KEEP ME INSPIRED.**

**OMG I use way too much capslock I'm sorry I don't usually like scream at everyone in real life. **

**Anyway, moving on from the cheerful topic of untimely demises, DID YOU SEE LAST WEEKS WATERLOO ROAD OMG I really love Kevin and Dynasty though I'm cringing for Kevin when he goes all frustrated and annoyed and ends up looking like a sulky child and I just loved the scene with all the Barry's and Kevin when they had KFC (romantic, good food choice there Barry) and when Barry was all "I've got you're back." I JUST MELTED LIKE SERIOUSLY I'm so shipping them now (purely as friends though or it would become seriously weird) I live for bromance. And I thought Christine did absolutely fab, good on her! **

**And now moving on, I shall be uploading a Comogen next and then a Connor/Dynasty bonding (I've for a good plot for that one) and possibly a Michstine as it seems pretty popular; how do you want me to play it? Broken-hearted and missing each other, meeting again years later and catching up, beginning of relationship when they were still in love? And of course there's the infamous arrival of Kimber the cat (I've actually grown quite fond of this cat).**

**CIAO XOXO lurve you all**

Connor never had a dad. And he never wanted one. _Especially_ when he found out who his 'dad' actually was.

_An sick, selfish, old rapist._

He refused to think about him. That man didn't exist...A piece of forgotten history. He wasn't even _alive_, for christ's sake. Yet somehow he was never far from Connor's mind.

What did he look like? _Dark haired probably. Like me. _

Why did he do...do _that_ to Christine? _Doesn't matter. I'll never find out anyway. _

Did Connor inherit any traits, any particular looks from him? _I hope not. I really, really hope not._

If Imogen thinks she's got it hard...she has _no_ idea.

He often had dismissed that typical adoring-father-indulgently-pushing-his-kids-on-a-s wing cliche, that the type of father who dutifully checked for monsters under the bed every night and sat you on his shoulders and played tickle-fights and rough-and-tumble for hours on end; he didn't exist, couldn't exist.

His actual father was a monster himself and his mother was too busy at the bottom of a bottle to chase away any of Connor's demons.

Michael was different.

Connor wasn't stupid enough to think that Michael would be like a second dad to him; adopt him as his long-lost son. But there was those little moments; when he woke up after a night out to find a glass of water by his bed and a note traced with amusement and feigned exasperation at which time he had finally returned or when he paid off all his debt that had been hanging over his head like a noose without blinking an eye or when he, without fail, offered a ride to school in his car every morning and had even taken to having a calculator and a spare pen tucked under the dashboard for the hurried homework that Connor always forgot he had due; it felt...fatherly. Like a security blanket, someone he could fall back on and trust not to drop him. And when he saw the humor twinkling in Michael's staid brown eyes as he watched his easy bantering with his mother every evening or when he spotted Michael smiling to himself fondly whenever Connor had heated up a place of leftover lasagne for him everytime he had to work late or when he heard the concern and-there's no other way to put it-care lacing his voice when he babbled, desperate and panicked, about Steve-O's hounding and threats...Connor knew Michael felt the same.

**OMG how ridiculously short is this, feel free to curse me, its horrifically pitiful but I feel proud I've eventually got this update up; god you guys must have completely given up on me. Now all the badness is over and done with, my updates will be much less erratic and much more often because you're worth it *cue Loreal hair flick* **

**Anyway, I love you all and BYE! (Please review. As always. I will become you're best friend?) **

**~Zoe~TheInternetGoblin~**


	7. ERMERGERD BREWNES

**THANKS TO; **

**HeyItsKerry Lena tabitha9024 dustdancingintheflickerlight You make me smile and I love you all :)**

**I had a horrible curse inflicted upon me at the weekend...my laptop broke.**

**While I was halfway through three important assessments, a eight hundred word essay for falling asleep in class, A 70,00 PAGE STORY I HAD BEEN WORKING ON FOR WEEKS, the next FIVE drabbles and all my planning.**

**I felt like smashing my head through the laptop.**

**So now I'm back to uploading this all via phone (it's so tedious it makes me want to cry) and I've been in the bitchiest mood all weekend as well.**

**Not fun.**

**Next one shall be Connor/Dynasty friendship, then Michstine, then the arrival of Kimber the cat (I am now pestering my parents for a cat, despite the fact the dogs would probably eat her in the first three seconds upon arrival) **

**CIAO XOXO**

"Hey..._what_ are you doing?" Connor stumbled into the kitchen, yawning and bleary-eyed, but stopped short suddenly, freezing in shock...his wife was baking.

This was a bad sign.

"I thought I would make some brownies?" Imogen smiled a hopeful grin, widening her bright brown eyes enticingly, trying to telepathically implore him to not say anything about her 'unusual cooking skills'.

"Imogen you can't cook."

"It's baking. Not cooking."

"You can't make an edible cake out of a _cake mix."_

"I'm practising."

"Imogen; face it. You're never going to be a cook."

She shoved him, leaving floury handprints on his pyjama shirt.

"I can dream, can't I?"

Connor snorted, giving her a chaste kiss upon her head and flicking the coffee machine on, wincing as the grinding roar reverberated throughout his fragile, sleep-deprived skull.

Imogen shook her head and smiled at the pained look on his face as she continued obliviously sifting a disturbingly large amount of baking powder into the already foaming mix.

Ah well. It will dampen down later.

The coffee machine trailed off in an ear-splitting whine as Connor grabbed his coffee, heading for the front room with his laptop tucked under his arm as Imogen kept stirring serenely.

"Try not to blow up the kitchen, okay love?"

Imogen laughed before hunting around in the cupboards for some more baking power.

"You're lack of faith in me is insulting!" She called back teasingly, snatching a bottle of bicarbonate soda and shrugging, pouring it into the mix determinedly and not hearing his mumbled reply,"A lack of faith well-justified."

"Er Connor? Could you come in here a second?"

Imogen painted a frazzled smile onto her panicked face, hiding meekly behind a curtain of hair as Connor, head in his newspaper, grunted a reply, wandering in absently...until he slipped onto a mound of butter and made a flying catch for the bench, dragging himself up before he could smash to the ground.

Imogen winced.

"What...what _happened_?"

A smashed glass of black food dye was splintered next to the sink, dripping steadily into a little ebony puddle seeping over the pristine white tiles. A jar of cocoa powder lay upturned, it's contents spilling over the whole work surface, mingling with shattered eggs and half-melted bars of chocolate. All the cupboard handles were smeared in slick, slippery stickiness and a thin coating of flour covered everything like a fine dusting of snow.

Imogen bit her lip apologetically.

"I tried to make brownies."

"Clearly."

"Well. They look delicious." Connor spoke deadpanned, fishing out a sliver of glass from the hideous concoction that has baked into a hard, crusty, warty veneer that contained a sickening, sludgy mess, oozing

unnattractively from its cracked shell.

"Glass? How did glass did our brownies?"

"Imogen. To call them brownies is an insult to brownies."

Imogen ignored his cynical reply, digging around worriedly for other potentially death-inducing ingredients, and adverting her eyes as her fingers sunk into the clingy gloop with a soft 'pop'.

"Well I was going to try and fob them off to my five year old neighbour but then again, maybe not."

Connor's lips curved up slightly in a smile, as flour cracked around his mouth and dusted his shirt with new white patches.

"_Connor_?! What on _earth_ happened to my _kitchen_?!" Mrs Mulgrew's strong voice carried through the house as Imogen's mother tapped worriedly after her.

Connor and his wife both exchanged dreading looks; they were officially screwed.

As Christine stood, locked in horror as fury began to dawn upom her face at the horrific mess, Mrs Stewart, however, just tutted and, with the typical long-suffering look of a mother, began to wipe down the benches with a wet rag that had laid abandoned on the kitchen table.

"Imogen, did you try and bake brownies again?"

**This actually happened to me once, except it was with scones (because I'm so bladdy British). And I accidentally permanently dyed half of the kitchen chairs blue. And I was grounded for two months. And I gave my Auntie food poisoning. **

**It was about then I gave up my dream of winning Masterchef. **

**As usual, leave a review and make a poor, harassed, stressed and extremely perpetually annoyed internet-hobo's day. I will telepathically send you some imaginary brownies (ones that taste nice and can't kill you).**

**Thanks for reading!**

**~Zoe~TheInternetGoblin~**


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